349 pounds snuck up on me. The last time I had checked, I was 312, which was still 100 pounds too heavy. Now I am 150 pounds overweight. I could blame the season or blame the stress and sitting required to launch an online magazine, but I know the blame is on me. Now, I am going to really stop waiting for Godot and actually put the action plan I have been noodling every single day in 2018 without activating. Yes, I have all the gear but none of the run, ride, row. So, here’s my plan.

Riding

As you might have read, I have joined CycleBar on Columbia Pike here in South Arlington, Virginia. Maria Ryan is my patron saint of fitness, but the studio she runs and the classes they offer are really only one part of my success plan.

Walking

In terms of exercise, I am very pleased that there’s exactly a mile between where I live and where the studio is. Maybe closer to 1.2 miles. For someone who weighs this much, briskly walking to class from my pad to CycleBar is like doing a Farmer’s Carry with a 24kg (53lbs) in each hand. It’s a bit of a workout on its own. It also allows me to warm and cool off a little bit more before and after the rides.

Mon Wed Fri

I only plan to visit CycleBar every other day. For now, the 45-minutes I ride, even though it’s pretty slow compared to the other spin goddesses, beats me up a little. I tried to stretch last night but my legs feel it today, so if I went to another class tonight, there would be an extreme diminishing return on investment and I might suppress my immune system again and come down with round two of a cold; or, worse, injure myself.



So, I will aspire to ride on Monday night and Wednesday nights at 7:30pm and then on Fridays at 6:30pm. I don’t know but I think that two of those ride might include wine afterwards.



On my ride days, I will be working on my treadmill desk, like always. of course. But I would also like to put meters in on the SkiErg and on the Rower as well. I did buy a well-loved used Keiser M3 exercise bike, which is very cool but very low tech. And it looks like the future. I feel like it’s a good idea to jump on the bike for a half an hour or so at night during TV time just to make sure I keep some blood in my legs.

Tue Thu Sat Sun

On the off days, I want to do meters on the Indoor Rower—my old Erg—just to keep the blood flowing and because I am on an indoor rowing team, Team Blue Wave, and I owe them meters. And there will always be Concept2 challenges that I can row and ski for. I also have the kettlebells that I was to return to.

Full Body Workout

So, while Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are now my scheduled class days, there are a lot of other parts of the body that riding and walking don’t reach. My business partner, and CrossFit god, Dan Krueger, recommends push-ups, sit-ups, air squats, and other bodyweight exercises. I might even pop a trip to XSport or to 9Round on the Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday days.

What About Running?

Indeed. I hear you. I don’t think that running while I am 350 pounds is a very good idea but I agree with you. In honor of the name of this blog, rnnr, I need to do what my buddy, Sergey Krayev, suggests to me: “get outside and walk for an hour before you go to bed. It’ll fill you with fresh air, get you some exercise, and get you ready for a good night’s sleep.” I think that’s excellent advice.

Phase 2

When I get better at spinning, and become stronger and much more fit, my gym, XSport Fitness, is on the way home, as is 9Round. I would love to get strong and fit enough that I could add some evening stretching, body weight exercises, and some weightlifting, on the way home. But for now, that would be disastrous. I felt pretty shagged this morning. And that’ll happen for now.

On Gaining 50

Gaining another 50 pounds instead of losing it was well within my power. There was a lot of time, a little later at night after I had done so well counting my calories on MyFitnessPal and keeping everything mostly plant-based and mostly under 1,500 calories-a-day, when I just said, “fuck it, I’m hungry and I deserve this.”

I Deserve to be Healthy

You know what I deserve? To be healthy, to be limber, to be fit, to be strong, to be able to pop off the floor or out of a chair, and to weight 220lbs or so. That’s what I deserve.

Fuck Pizza

A pizza ain’t nothing compared to that. I don’t deserve the pizza. I’ll never deserve the pizza. The pizza’s nothing to deserve.

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Okay, a couple of months ago I joined CYCLEBAR Columbia Pike with guns blazing and worked so hard too quickly and got a killer cold that grounded me for weeks. I’m heading back today to take a class tonight at 7:30 PM called “Classic"—this ride has something for everyone with a rocking mix of strength, endurance, challenges, hills, and drills—and plan to onboard really slowly. 

Natalie will try anything once! When she first tried indoor cycling, she loved it, because it reminded her so much of dance. She enjoys the satisfaction of nailing a beat drop in the cycling studio just as much as she does when she’s performing on a dance floor. As an instructor, Natalie believes that a good class is structured like a story. The build, ebb, and flow always make you feel like you are approaching something new. When you ride with Natalie, she hopes to deliver dope music that leaves you feeling a sense of community. CYCLEBAR Columbia Pike Website



In support of this, I have unchecked the "Yes, I want to participate” in the studio performance board.

When I checked that box, I found myself killing myself—and still be DFL. So, I am going to take the pressure off and just ride my own ride, nobody else’s.



Thanks to Marina Ryan for generously inviting me back with a Mulligan! She’s a goddess. Wish me luck. My goal for 2019 is to become a Spin Goddess (don’t judge me)!

CYCLEBAR Columbia Pike Spin Club Reception Desk

Self check-in tablets and SPD rental riding shoes

All the Schwinn spin bikes lined up in the studio are

The locker room and ready area just outside the studio

The powerhouse goddess riders who kick my butt ever ride and motivate me!

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Mama Stamberg’s Cranberry Relish 2015-11-24 18:26:40

This recipe is a tradition in my household. I am an NPR superfan and Susan Stamberg has been sharing her mother’s horseradish-rich and Pepto-Bismol-colored cranberry relish for decades.






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Prep Time
5 min

Total Time
5 min

Prep Time
5 min

Total Time
5 min
Ingredients 2 cups whole raw cranberries, washed 1 small onion ¾ cup sour cream ½ cup sugar 2 tablespoons horseradish from a jar (“red is a bit milder than white”)
Instructions Grind the raw berries and onion together. (“I use an old-fashioned meat grinder,” says Stamberg. “I’m sure there’s a setting on the food processor that will give you a chunky grind — not a puree.”) Add everything else and mix. Put in a plastic container and freeze. Early Thanksgiving morning, move it from freezer to refrigerator compartment to thaw. (“It should still have some little icy slivers left.”) The relish will be thick, creamy, and shocking pink. (“OK, Pepto Bismol pink. It has a tangy taste that cuts through and perks up the turkey and gravy. Its also good on next-day turkey sandwiches, and with roast beef.”) Makes 1 ½ pints.
Notes As Susan Stamberg has noted, “her mother-in-law got the recipe from a 1959 New York Times clipping of Craig Claiborne’s recipe for cranberry relish. In 1993, Claiborne told Stamberg: "Susan, I am simply delighted. We have gotten more mileage, you and I, out of that recipe than almost anything I’ve printed.”
By Mama Stamberg
Adapted from National Public Radio
Adapted from National Public Radio
RNNR https://rnnr.us/

Susan Stamberg

Maybe only a handful of you have ever shared Thanksgiving with me. It’s no big whoops. For a few years there, I rocked the meal, making the perfect brined and butter-basted turkey.

Maybe it’s been since 1993 that I have known Susan Stamberg as an NPR mainstay and probably November 1993, when I became aware of this shocking pink cranberry relish – and I have been imposing Mama Stamberg’s cranberry relish on every Thanksgiving dinner ever since, whether the host likes it or not, whether they asked for it or not, and whether or not anyone actually eats any.

Just throw everything into a food processor and it’s ready to throw into the freezer – the most important step. Or, you can use a blender or a hand blender. But still be sure to throw it all into a plastic container and throw in into the freezer for a deep freeze at least for a night. But please be sure to take it out of the freezer and let it thaw on its own before serving.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Mama Stamberg’s Cranberry Relish Recipe’s Origins
As Susan Stamberg has noted, her mother-in-law got the recipe from a 1959 New York Times clipping of Craig Claiborne’s recipe for cranberry relish. In 1993, Claiborne told Stamberg: “Susan, I am simply delighted. We have gotten more mileage, you and I, out of that recipe than almost anything I’ve printed.”

Read the full article